"Why would you use that as a phone background?" Microscopy Wallpaper 5-Pack

Awkward and anxious? Looking for a sure-fire way to turn a B-line into a U-turn? Look no further. This 5-pack of digital wallpapers (suitable for phone, tablet, or computer screen) is your one-stop shop on the express lane to thwart-town. This curated set is scientifically engineered* to halt any well-intentioned extrovert in their tracks.

Step 1: Lift your phone with the smug confidence of a man selling extended warranties at 35% APR, screen side out.

Step 2: Announce, at full volume, "DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE FACE MITES AND THEY HAVE BOWEL MOVEMENTS ON YOUR FACE ? WANNA SEE? DO YOU THINK THEIR POOP FALLS OFF ONTO YOUR PILLOW?"

Step 3: Observe immediate retreat.

This is a curated collection of 5 high-resolution images captured using DIC (Differential Interference Contrast) microscopy.

Pack contains one image each of a two-tailed sperm, a face mite, cat urine from a sick cat**, sewer worms, and a pooping rotifer
Each image is 8 megapixels
Delivered via email with download link
Personal use only, please. Not for resale or commercial use.

*Not really

**Cat is fine.

"Why would you use that as a phone background?" Microscopy Wallpaper 5-Pack

$5.00